To honor the self is to be willing to think independently, to live by your own mind, and to have the courage of our own perceptions and judgments.
To honor the self is to be willing to know not only what we think but also what we feel, what we want, need, desire, suffer over, are frightened or angered by -- and to accept our right to experience such feelings. The opposite of this attitude is denial, disowning, repression -- self-repudiation.
To honor the self is to live authentically, to speak and act from our innermost convictions and feelings.
To honor the self is to refuse to accept unearned guilt, and to do our best to correct such guilt as we may have earned.
To honor the self is to be committed to our right to exist which proceeds from the knowledge that our life does not belong to others and that we are not here on earth to live up to someone else's expectations. To many people, this is a terrifying responsibility.
To honor the self is to be in love with our own life, in love with our possibilities for growth and for experiencing joy, in love with the process of discovery and exploring our distinctively human potentialities.
Thus we can begin to see that to honor the self is to practice selfishness in the hightest, noblest, and least understood sense of that word. And this, I shall argue, requires enormous independence, courage and integrity.
by Nathaniel Branden - Honoring the Self
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
How To Overcome Your Fears
Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
- Marriane Williamson
Read that last line again - YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD.
What holds you back from playing all out - and going after what you really want. Is it fear of the unknown? Fear that you ARE capable and powerful beyond measure - if you gave yourself permission?
What one thing are you wanting to do that you have allowed self talk to keep you from doing? Stop for a moment and fast forward. What will your life be like if you DON'T take the steps now to make this desire your reality? If you don't like the way that feels, then it's time to take action.
What baby step can you take today toward reaching that goal? Maybe the first step is simply writing your goal or desire down and declaring it to the universe on paper. When you move the idea from your head out into the tangible - magical things begin to happen. The more clear you are on your goal - the faster you will draw it to you.
Once you have committed to achieving or pursuing your goal or dream, think through and write out the steps that you need to take to make it happen. The more clear you get around this goal or dream, the faster the universe will help manifest your vision.
Whenever negative self talk pops into your thoughts, replace it immediately with an opposite empowering thought. Tony Robbins calls this technique Neuro Associative Conditioning. Simply stated - this technique interrupts the limiting thought pattern and replaces it with a new empowering alternative. When you keep this up and stay focused on your positive empowering thoughts, you will replace a limiting thought process with a positive one in 21 days or less.
So, as Marianne Williamson says in her quote above - your playing small does not serve the universe. You have important things to do. The world is full of exciting opportunity and you are free to create the life you want. As Mary Oliver said, 'What is it that you want to do with the one, wild, precious thing called your life?'
Don't hold back! Go boldly and confidently in the direction of your dreams. The only one to stop you is you! As a life coach - my whole purpose is to help individuals express themselves more fully and become or do what they want in life. As a life coach, I challenge and stretch the limits that an individual may have put on them self. I help people realize potential they didn't even know they had - and support them in taking the steps consistently to achieve what they truly want in life. I would love the opportunity to do that with you. For yourself and your life - take action now - call or email me at: lifecoachlurae@gmail.com or 310-683-9696 .
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
- Marriane Williamson
Read that last line again - YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD.
What holds you back from playing all out - and going after what you really want. Is it fear of the unknown? Fear that you ARE capable and powerful beyond measure - if you gave yourself permission?
What one thing are you wanting to do that you have allowed self talk to keep you from doing? Stop for a moment and fast forward. What will your life be like if you DON'T take the steps now to make this desire your reality? If you don't like the way that feels, then it's time to take action.
What baby step can you take today toward reaching that goal? Maybe the first step is simply writing your goal or desire down and declaring it to the universe on paper. When you move the idea from your head out into the tangible - magical things begin to happen. The more clear you are on your goal - the faster you will draw it to you.
Once you have committed to achieving or pursuing your goal or dream, think through and write out the steps that you need to take to make it happen. The more clear you get around this goal or dream, the faster the universe will help manifest your vision.
Whenever negative self talk pops into your thoughts, replace it immediately with an opposite empowering thought. Tony Robbins calls this technique Neuro Associative Conditioning. Simply stated - this technique interrupts the limiting thought pattern and replaces it with a new empowering alternative. When you keep this up and stay focused on your positive empowering thoughts, you will replace a limiting thought process with a positive one in 21 days or less.
So, as Marianne Williamson says in her quote above - your playing small does not serve the universe. You have important things to do. The world is full of exciting opportunity and you are free to create the life you want. As Mary Oliver said, 'What is it that you want to do with the one, wild, precious thing called your life?'
Don't hold back! Go boldly and confidently in the direction of your dreams. The only one to stop you is you! As a life coach - my whole purpose is to help individuals express themselves more fully and become or do what they want in life. As a life coach, I challenge and stretch the limits that an individual may have put on them self. I help people realize potential they didn't even know they had - and support them in taking the steps consistently to achieve what they truly want in life. I would love the opportunity to do that with you. For yourself and your life - take action now - call or email me at: lifecoachlurae@gmail.com or 310-683-9696 .
Thursday, March 25, 2010
It's Time To Free Your Self Limiting Beliefs
What do you believe to be true about yourself and others? How did you gain those beliefs? Did you inherit them growing up, or were they acquired through life experiences? Chances are you got them from a combination of your own life experiences and inherited beliefs. Ask yourself, are your beliefs propelling you forward - or holding you back?
The beliefs we hold about ourselves and others directly affect the quality of our life and relationships - in working and non-working ways. My youngest daughter was the one who made me keenly aware of how my non-working beliefs were standing in the way of allowing me to have an authentic relationship with her - and preventing me from living life fully. The topic was discussed frequently enough that we eventually began referring to them as 'SLBs' rather than saying the words 'self limiting beliefs'. After diligent exploration and open assessment of how I was thinking and viewing parts of my life, I got clear on the beliefs that were helping me and those that were hurting me. Those that were serving who I wanted to become got stronger and those that were no longer serving me were slowly and surely weeded out.
Have you taken the time to assess how your beliefs are serving you? We often hold onto self limiting beliefs because they are familiar and we use them at times as a form of protection from conscious or sub-conscious goals and wishes. Sometimes a self limiting belief can prevent us from not getting something that we dearly want. For example, we may want to find a mate but the 'loyal soldier' in our mind talks without permission telling us things like, "you're not handsome or pretty enough for someone like her or him," or; "you'll just wind up getting hurt anyway;" or "it's too much work - I'm already too busy as it is - how would I fit a relationship into my schedule?"
These are all stories we may tell ourselves to prevent us from going after that one thing we hold dear and would cherish if we allowed ourselves to be open to admit we want it, get clear on what we want, and take conscious steps to achieve it. Why do we allow ourselves to do this? When you assess it logically, it looks cruel. Why do we punish ourselves like this? Mainly because we have not taken the time to get to the root of the belief and explore how it is serving or no longer serving us.
One way to identify your self limiting beliefs is to be aware of your non-supportive or critical 'inner talk.' Jot down the thoughts or false beliefs that come to you as you consider various situations such as going after anything that is important to you. The self doubts that bubble up are directly tied to your self limiting beliefs. Once you can identify them - they can be weeded out like weeds in a garden - and you can replace them with beautiful flowers that are waiting to bloom from within you.
What are some ways to eliminate self limiting beliefs? Once you have jotted them down or spoken them out loud - they are visible and tangible. They are no longer swirling around in a circle going around and around in your mind. Awareness and consciousness of the limiting belief is the first step.
Once you have identified the false belief, you can dialogue with it. You can write a love letter to yourself and your limiting beliefs. I did this and found it extremely effective. In this process, I wrote a letter thanking my self limiting beliefs for protecting me up to that point. I acknowledged how they had served me in the past and consciously released them going forward as no longer serving me no longer part of me.
This was a very freeing experience. It absolutely changed my inner belief and operating system. I no longer hold beliefs that used to regularly creep into my thinking. I seldom have limiting thoughts now, and if I do, I have learned to stop the thought just as quickly as it tries to break the ground into the sunlight. I do that by replacing that thought with an empowering thought. For example, if I am thinking about a new endeavor that I am working on and feel discouraged in some way, the natural inclination is to doubt myself and whether I can really do it. As soon as that type of thinking surfaces, I reconnect with the feelings and thoughts around why I am doing this in the first place. That immediately turns the thought around from defeating to empowering.
Sometimes if a belief has been torturing or beating you down for a long period of time, you may need the help of a professional to determine where that belief stems from or how to eliminate it. The presence of someone experienced at exploring and guiding others with the elimination of self limiting beliefs is what is in order. As a life coach, I am experienced at helping free people from the thoughts that bind them.
Just like me, you too can be free from limiting beliefs and become empowered to move in the direction of what you truly want in life. If you are not living the life you want or have goals that you don't see a way to achieve, the beliefs that you hold are likely influencing your ability to achieve what you want. Take action and begin living the life you want. I would be honored to work with you.
The beliefs we hold about ourselves and others directly affect the quality of our life and relationships - in working and non-working ways. My youngest daughter was the one who made me keenly aware of how my non-working beliefs were standing in the way of allowing me to have an authentic relationship with her - and preventing me from living life fully. The topic was discussed frequently enough that we eventually began referring to them as 'SLBs' rather than saying the words 'self limiting beliefs'. After diligent exploration and open assessment of how I was thinking and viewing parts of my life, I got clear on the beliefs that were helping me and those that were hurting me. Those that were serving who I wanted to become got stronger and those that were no longer serving me were slowly and surely weeded out.
Have you taken the time to assess how your beliefs are serving you? We often hold onto self limiting beliefs because they are familiar and we use them at times as a form of protection from conscious or sub-conscious goals and wishes. Sometimes a self limiting belief can prevent us from not getting something that we dearly want. For example, we may want to find a mate but the 'loyal soldier' in our mind talks without permission telling us things like, "you're not handsome or pretty enough for someone like her or him," or; "you'll just wind up getting hurt anyway;" or "it's too much work - I'm already too busy as it is - how would I fit a relationship into my schedule?"
These are all stories we may tell ourselves to prevent us from going after that one thing we hold dear and would cherish if we allowed ourselves to be open to admit we want it, get clear on what we want, and take conscious steps to achieve it. Why do we allow ourselves to do this? When you assess it logically, it looks cruel. Why do we punish ourselves like this? Mainly because we have not taken the time to get to the root of the belief and explore how it is serving or no longer serving us.
One way to identify your self limiting beliefs is to be aware of your non-supportive or critical 'inner talk.' Jot down the thoughts or false beliefs that come to you as you consider various situations such as going after anything that is important to you. The self doubts that bubble up are directly tied to your self limiting beliefs. Once you can identify them - they can be weeded out like weeds in a garden - and you can replace them with beautiful flowers that are waiting to bloom from within you.
What are some ways to eliminate self limiting beliefs? Once you have jotted them down or spoken them out loud - they are visible and tangible. They are no longer swirling around in a circle going around and around in your mind. Awareness and consciousness of the limiting belief is the first step.
Once you have identified the false belief, you can dialogue with it. You can write a love letter to yourself and your limiting beliefs. I did this and found it extremely effective. In this process, I wrote a letter thanking my self limiting beliefs for protecting me up to that point. I acknowledged how they had served me in the past and consciously released them going forward as no longer serving me no longer part of me.
This was a very freeing experience. It absolutely changed my inner belief and operating system. I no longer hold beliefs that used to regularly creep into my thinking. I seldom have limiting thoughts now, and if I do, I have learned to stop the thought just as quickly as it tries to break the ground into the sunlight. I do that by replacing that thought with an empowering thought. For example, if I am thinking about a new endeavor that I am working on and feel discouraged in some way, the natural inclination is to doubt myself and whether I can really do it. As soon as that type of thinking surfaces, I reconnect with the feelings and thoughts around why I am doing this in the first place. That immediately turns the thought around from defeating to empowering.
Sometimes if a belief has been torturing or beating you down for a long period of time, you may need the help of a professional to determine where that belief stems from or how to eliminate it. The presence of someone experienced at exploring and guiding others with the elimination of self limiting beliefs is what is in order. As a life coach, I am experienced at helping free people from the thoughts that bind them.
Just like me, you too can be free from limiting beliefs and become empowered to move in the direction of what you truly want in life. If you are not living the life you want or have goals that you don't see a way to achieve, the beliefs that you hold are likely influencing your ability to achieve what you want. Take action and begin living the life you want. I would be honored to work with you.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Adversity is a Blessing
What if they had given up - and took someone else's word for it? We all know ourselves and know what we are capable of better than any other human being. If you can SEE it - you can BE it. It took me 15 years to become the V.P. of Marketing for a Fortune 500 company. I was passed over for promotions and told by my father that I should 'just be a secretary.' I told my dad, "Dad, one day I am going to HAVE a secretary - not BE one." Persistence paid off - Never Ever Give Up.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
How to Create a Life You Love
One of the first steps to creating a life you love is to get very clear on what you DO want and stop focusing on what’s not right with your life. What you focus on grows and gets bigger. If you are thinking about and focusing on things in your life that you don’t like or wish were different – you are creating more of those things and situations in your life.
You are the creator of your life. You create your reality. Your current life situation and experience is a direct reflection of your thoughts, feelings and actions from the near or distant past. Your current thoughts, feelings and action or lack of action is determining your future. So get very clear on what you want and put a plan together to create a future you will love. You won’t experience a new more exciting future by continuing to do things and think the same way you have been.
This is where a life coach comes in. A coach encourages, stretches and guides you to places you would likely have never gone on your own. A life coach can help you become who you want to become and live a life you love filled with happiness, joy, and fulfillment – and whatever else is important to you.
If happiness and living a fulfilled life were easy, then everyone would be living and feeling that way about their reality. The reality is, there are more unhappy, unfulfilled and disillusioned people now in the world than ever in the history of mankind – even though we have more modern conveniences and opportunities in front of us. The challenge is that in our busyness in life, people don’t stop to truly get in touch with themselves and ask the tough questions like - what is truly important to me at this point in my life?
Through life experiences, people have begun to believe that dreams only come true in the movies or fairy tales. The truth is, dreams do come true in real life. By asking ourselves the right questions, taking the time to get clear on what is truly important to us, and living life on purpose – not on autopilot, we can create a roadmap to a life of our dreams.
I encourage you to take some time to get clear on what is truly important to you in life – and ask yourself, what will it take for you to live a life of no regrets? Go down the road 20 or 30 years from now. What do you want your life legacy to be? Will you wish you had spent more time at your job or the office – or more time pursuing and taking risks in pursuing your passion in life?
Get bold – take charge of your life – you are the only one who can. And consider partnering with a life coach who will support, guide and challenge you to become who you want to become, or take that risk to do what you truly want to do - but have been afraid to take the steps to pursue. Live a life of passion – not regrets! Contact me today to take the first steps to living a life you love.
You are the creator of your life. You create your reality. Your current life situation and experience is a direct reflection of your thoughts, feelings and actions from the near or distant past. Your current thoughts, feelings and action or lack of action is determining your future. So get very clear on what you want and put a plan together to create a future you will love. You won’t experience a new more exciting future by continuing to do things and think the same way you have been.
This is where a life coach comes in. A coach encourages, stretches and guides you to places you would likely have never gone on your own. A life coach can help you become who you want to become and live a life you love filled with happiness, joy, and fulfillment – and whatever else is important to you.
If happiness and living a fulfilled life were easy, then everyone would be living and feeling that way about their reality. The reality is, there are more unhappy, unfulfilled and disillusioned people now in the world than ever in the history of mankind – even though we have more modern conveniences and opportunities in front of us. The challenge is that in our busyness in life, people don’t stop to truly get in touch with themselves and ask the tough questions like - what is truly important to me at this point in my life?
Through life experiences, people have begun to believe that dreams only come true in the movies or fairy tales. The truth is, dreams do come true in real life. By asking ourselves the right questions, taking the time to get clear on what is truly important to us, and living life on purpose – not on autopilot, we can create a roadmap to a life of our dreams.
I encourage you to take some time to get clear on what is truly important to you in life – and ask yourself, what will it take for you to live a life of no regrets? Go down the road 20 or 30 years from now. What do you want your life legacy to be? Will you wish you had spent more time at your job or the office – or more time pursuing and taking risks in pursuing your passion in life?
Get bold – take charge of your life – you are the only one who can. And consider partnering with a life coach who will support, guide and challenge you to become who you want to become, or take that risk to do what you truly want to do - but have been afraid to take the steps to pursue. Live a life of passion – not regrets! Contact me today to take the first steps to living a life you love.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Finding Your Life Purpose
How long has it been since you felt truly excited and energized about your life? Do you ever wonder where the passion has gone? The wonder of life can be seen easiest when looking at life through the wonderous eyes of a happy child. Everything is new and fresh to them as they view the world through virgin eyes.
You too can regain that type of excitement and wonder. If you are not feeling this way, many things in your life can be affecting your happiness or life satisfaction meter. We have many areas within our lives that when in balance, give us a feeling of contentment and a sense of joy. When those areas are out of whack or lopsided, we will experience the opposite.
As a Life Coach, I am trained and experienced at guiding individuals in exploring the many important facets of their lives. I am skilled at helping people identify areas that may be out of balance and determine what steps they want to take to bring more peace and happiness into their lives. Many times the need exists to re-evaluate and explore their path in life to find meaning and purpose.
The important thing is to step back and take note of how you are truly feeling. If you feel you have lost some of the excitement or adventure you had about life or the direction you were heading - you can get it back. Take time to be kind to yourself and listen to the small voice inside of you that many times is ignored by the busyness of your life. As a life coach, I can create that safe space for you to hear your heart's deepest messages longing to be heard.
I encourage you to stay connected with your heart and what truly matters to you in life. In the end, it may be what we didn't do that we will remember more than what we did do. As Mary Oliver writes, "what is it that you want to do with the one, wild, precious thing called your life?"
Vow to live a life of dreams fulfilled. I would love to coach and guide you on your life's path. Reach out to me - I would be honored to work with you.
Namaste
You too can regain that type of excitement and wonder. If you are not feeling this way, many things in your life can be affecting your happiness or life satisfaction meter. We have many areas within our lives that when in balance, give us a feeling of contentment and a sense of joy. When those areas are out of whack or lopsided, we will experience the opposite.
As a Life Coach, I am trained and experienced at guiding individuals in exploring the many important facets of their lives. I am skilled at helping people identify areas that may be out of balance and determine what steps they want to take to bring more peace and happiness into their lives. Many times the need exists to re-evaluate and explore their path in life to find meaning and purpose.
The important thing is to step back and take note of how you are truly feeling. If you feel you have lost some of the excitement or adventure you had about life or the direction you were heading - you can get it back. Take time to be kind to yourself and listen to the small voice inside of you that many times is ignored by the busyness of your life. As a life coach, I can create that safe space for you to hear your heart's deepest messages longing to be heard.
I encourage you to stay connected with your heart and what truly matters to you in life. In the end, it may be what we didn't do that we will remember more than what we did do. As Mary Oliver writes, "what is it that you want to do with the one, wild, precious thing called your life?"
Vow to live a life of dreams fulfilled. I would love to coach and guide you on your life's path. Reach out to me - I would be honored to work with you.
Namaste
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